This is the question that I used to dread answering. It was a question that always made me feel less than. A question that made me wonder if I wasn’t enough for her. A question that would feel like a gut punch.
“Mommy, why did do I have 2 moms?”
But now? Now…I love it when she smiles and asks this question. She smiles because she knows that the answer back always begins with, “Because you are one blessed little girl”.
And I believe it.
Too often we view adoption from a place of lacking. I have heard many families tell the story that the child’s birth mother gave him/her up and that this allowed the new family to have a child. Yes, there is some truth to this but this isn’t the perspective we look at it from. This isn’t isn’t the story we tell.
We choose to not view this from a place of lacking. We see it as abundance and plenty.
God used her sweet life to bring together 2 families.
Now, more questions will come. Harder questions. Questions that I do not feel that right now I have the best answer for but I am blessed to be able to have the conversation. She is also blessed to have 2 moms share with her answers.
And because of that, we are all blessed. And that will be how we choose to look at each hard question that is asked.
When answering those hard questions, it is important to remember to:
- Decide how you are going to answer – out of emotions or out of facts? This is much harder for us mamas! If you feel that you cannot answer at that time, say that but give a time soon in the near future that you will revisit the conversation.
- Answer just the question asked – don’t give too much else
- Answer honestly – if you start lying or telling only half truths, they will eventually stop asking
- If you don’t know the answer, just say so!
Don’t dread the hard questions. Lean into them. Expect them. And love each other through them!
