We are currently in a crazy season of life. Raising young children. Insane work schedules with my husband working in law enforcement and me working for a church.
Before we had our 2nd child, my husband and I used to go on a little getaway about 2 times a year. Then we realized that it has been 4 years since we did that (now…we did go on a nice week long vacation last year for our 10 year anniversary).
This last year has been more difficult with us moving, job changes, adding another kid to our family, and then just the regular stresses of life. We found ourselves disconnecting more and it was getting harder to find time to connect on a weekly basis (more to come later about the important of weekly date night). I KNEW that we needed to get away. When I mentioned it to my husband, he was feeling the same way.
Especially if you have children, you NEED to get away a few times a year, even if it is just for an overnight. For me, it takes me about 1-2 days to completely shut down the outside world so it is usually best if we go for 3-4 days.
Go where you find peace
For us, that is the mountains. There is nothing more peaceful to me than to be surrounded by mountains. Even better when there is very little cell service 🙂
VRBO or AirNB
Going on a weekend or week long getaway does not have to be expensive. We like to use VRBO (but others have had great success with AirNB) to rent cabins. On our last trip, we rented a cabin for $80 a night. You can’t beat that deal!!!
Don’t schedule ANYTHING
For most of us, we schedule too much during our normal every day lives. So, we don’t jam our schedules full of things to do. You might think we are boring, but we just like to sleep in, drink coffee and talk for hours while looking at the amazing view, put puzzles together, read books, and just catch up on what has been going on with each other. It is our time to reconnect.
We talk about dreams we both have for the future. We look back on dreams we used to have and see if they still apply.
If you schedule too much, then you really haven’t spent time with each other. You are simply just as busy as you were back home but with doing different things.
It might be awkward at first if you haven’t spent much time talking with your spouse. THAT IS OKAY! Play 20 questions or start asking questions that you would have asked back when you two were dating.
Questions from “Real Marriage”Â
There is 1 thing on our agenda and it is to go over the same set of questions about every 2 years. In the back of the book “Real Marriage”, Mark Driscoll has some questions that you can go through about what things would be like in _____ years. We like to do 2 years because I think much further past that. You will talk about what job you will be in, will you have moved, how will your bodies / fitness levels have changed, how will you teach your kids about Jesus, etc. A lot of questions are ones that we just don’t talk about every day. It is good thing that keeps us grounded.
When we go back in the fall on a trip, we will review these questions again to see if we are on the same track. If not much change has happened, then we plan out ways that we can intentionally work on them.
I should also mention that I like to read these questions out loud on our way TO our destination so that we can get done with most of it before our vacation ever actually starts. It also leads to more conversations throughout the week about certain topics.
Reconnect
Do whatever it is that you did when you were first dating! Remember the fun you had when there were no (or less) responsibilities!
And then don’t forget to do some things for yourself that will help you be a better person when you return. I love to use this time to reconnect with God in the mornings and Matt and I can reconnect spiritually as well. We are disconnected with the world so we can pray together and really have more discussions on what God is doing in our lives.
I also I LOVE to get lost in a book. It helps calm my anxiety and overall just makes me a better person. Matt enjoys watching movies. These are both things we don’t get to do a lot of back home. They are simply things but they make the world of difference to us.
When we return home, we are different people. We are rejuvenated. We are filled. We are connected. We are better spouses, parents, friends, coworkers, etc. THAT is why it is so important to get away!