It really isn’t much different than birthing a child. Preparing for adoption is very similar. For us, we really didn’t have much time to prepare before our daughter first came into our lives but for many of you reading this, you are already considering adopting.
If this is something you are considering, I would suggest doing the following:
PRAY
This might feel like a given, but I want to lead with this one first. If you are considering adoption, it is probably because God has laid this on your heart. Lay this desire at His feet and pray that He would be the one to lead, guide, and direct every step along the way.
Talk to other parents who have adopted
Find parents to talk with and those that you feel comfortable asking the really hard questions or maybe the questions that you feel guilty for even wanting answers to. Find those people who will be honest and open and will share the good, bad, and truth.
Create a strong community
This one is so important. If we were sitting together, I would hold your face to make sure you were looking directly at me as I tell you that you NEED to find a strong community. In this group need to be your old and faithful friends that will just show up with a meal or bottle of wine or fruit snacks when it has been a hard day. You need those that are committed to praying for you and your family. And then you need those that will understand.
Connect with those parents that you might have chatted with before deciding on adoption. Keep them in your life. It is a weird thing to try and explain to someone on Mother’s Day how you are struggling with that holiday and having to share it, unless that person knows. It is hard to share the hurt when your child cries at night for another woman and you feel not enough. But there is another who will understand. You need that person that will drop off flowers and a card when the adoption falls through and you feel left in a million pieces. That mama just knows.
Be ready to ask the hard questions
Do we want an open or closed adoption?Domestic or international?Should we foster to adopt? Are there any physical or mental ailments that we do not feel we could handle?How and when will we plan to tell our child that he/she was adopted?
Let Go and Let God
Once you have decided this is for you and have completed all the necessary paperwork and home studies and all that your state requires, now it is time to wait.
Use this time to truly let God prepare you for what is ahead. His timing will be perfect. In the waiting, He is still working. Trust in that.
