Sunday was by far the worse day emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I was not able to sleep for very long probably because of the anxiety of getting an amniocentesis. They came in that morning to do the test which was NOT FUN! I am not afraid of needles and I consider myself to have a high tolerance of pain, but oh my….nothing prepared me for it (side bar – I have had other friends have this and they said it was not bad at all so do not be alarmed about my experience if you need to have this procedure done). The issue was that because Will was breach and there wasn’t a whole lot of room left inside so the “pocket” they were going for was a very small one. Will decided immediately that he did not like it and started moving and pushing against the needle which cause all kinds of pain. This pain in addition to the other pain I was feeling was enough to set me over the edge.
She then gave me 3 choices that we would decide on after the results were given:
1. If I was in so much pain now, we could go ahead and do a c-section but if his lungs were not completely developed but it would just mean him spending some time in the NICU.
2. Wait a week and do a c-section and hope his lungs have developed.
3. Try and wait this out – “Only you know the pain you are in”.
Really?? You are given me choices?? PLEASE SOMEONE JUST MAKE THE DECISION FOR ME!!
The worst part is that after it is all done, they tell you they will let you know the results in 24 hours. That is A WHOLE DAY LATER! Some of you who know me also know that I am not a very patient person. This whole waiting game was getting old and it had only been going on for a few days.
They then gave me another steroid shot and told me to rest. YEAH RIGHT! There is only so much rest one can do. I will say that my body was able to physically rest in the bed (well as good as you can when you are in pain 24-7). My brain would not shut off. I tried to busy myself with doing work and also talking with visitors.
Unfortunately, I was not a good person to be visiting on this day. I was incredible amounts of pain (pain killers did nothing but make me loopy and tired) and my brain was focused on if my baby was going to be okay if they took him early, what if his lungs weren’t developed – would I be here for weeks, what if all this is stressing him out, why is everyone so worried about me? Looking back on it, I never fully understood the seriousness of the conditions they were discussing (more on that on a later blog).
All I could think of was everything still left on my to-do list…..
To read Part 1 of this story click HERE
Part 2 – click HERE
